Thoughts

Public

A Single View of Marriage | Biblical Sexuality | 'Christian' Books | Missionary Kids
Pet Peeves | Respecting Women | Single Notes | "Wild at Heart"?

Missionary Kids

"You know you're a missionary kid when someone mentions the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong."

Anyone who has spent their childhood moving from one location to another, changing schools and friends in the process, has a good idea of what it's like to be a missionary kid (M.K.)--perhaps minus the third culture. While I'm grateful for the experience and fun I had of growing up in two foreign countries (Swaziland and South Africa), I still believe I am dealing with where 'home' really is to me.

Having left my friends overseas, I've made some new acquaintances, but because time spent with them is very limited, there isn't the same level of friendship with them that I've had with older friends. To some extent this is true anywhere, since once you begin your career, you simply have less time to spend with your friends because of work schedules, moving, marriage, etc. The biggest difference however, lies in not having memories or personal history to reminisce with someone about. When the conversation turns to something or someone you've never heard of or experienced, your interest naturally wanes because you can't identify with it. If you've never experienced another culture, you simply cannot identify with the struggles or feelings associated with it. This prevents friendships from growing or deepening, and results in "surface relationships." In this regard, I still feel very disconnected from both people and churches. You place great value on old friendships, and become numb to new people; choosing to even not meet them, since you no longer have the energy or desire to try and build or establish new relationships.

There is much to be gained from living in a third culture though, such as broadening your view of the world in general, and being able to appreciate different languages, ways of thinking, and living. If given the choice, I would readily do it all over again. There is also an added dimension--a richer impression--of experiencing it when you're a child as opposed to when you're older.

On the lighter side, you know you're a missionary kid when... (taken from www.members.kconline.com/kerr/mk.htm)

  1. You feel odd being in the ethnic majority.
  2. You didn't get a license until your 18th birthday.
  3. You have a hard time living with a roommate who isn't a foreigner.
  4. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
  5. The Oklahoma City bombing didn't seem unusual to you.
  6. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
  7. You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.
  8. You don't know where home is.
  9. You'd rather never say hello than have to say goodbye.
  10. Furlough means that you are stuffed every night... and have to eat it all to seem polite.
  11. Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.
  12. You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.
  13. You like everything from Reggae to Japanese Rap music.
  14. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.
  15. You tell Americans that democracy isn't the only viable form of government.
  16. You realize what a small world it is, after all.
  17. You never take anything for granted.
  18. You marry another MK. :-)
  19. You know how to pack.
  20. You know the difference between 110 and 220 volts.
  21. Your parents' siblings are strangers to you, but you have 50-60 Aunts and Uncles who are no blood relation to you at all.
  22. You get upset when people don't finish their food, and feel worse when they scrape it into the trash.
  23. You don't do well in job interviews because you were taught to be modest.
  24. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.
  25. Someone asks you where you most enjoy just hanging out and you immediately think of happy hours spent in international airports.
  26. You go to a church you have never been in before and find your picture on their bulletin board.
  27. You actually look forward to the rare times the power goes off because it makes you feel nostalgic, *and* you might get a chance to see those stars that are still etched so vividly in your memory.
  28. You thought those ventilation louvers were what air-conditioning meant, for years.

Related links and files: Third Culture Kids: expatriate children | The M.K. Song (by Grady Talson, 4.17 MB)

Comments or criticism?